If You Hate it – Change it!


The other day, I was sitting listening near three separate groups of women (they were talking so loudly it was impossible not to hear), moaning about their lives and their other halves.   Don’t get me wrong, I love a good moan as much as the next person and my life is by no means perfect, but it made me think about how much time and energy they were wasting on negativity.

Every word out of their mouth was so negative – I was exhausted just listening to them! The men they were annihilating were obviously non-the-wiser about their true feelings, or if they were, they were choosing to ignore the seemingly constant browbeating.  It made me think.  If they put this much effort into their relationships by communicating with their partners – would they be more likely to get somewhere?  It also occurred to me that some of these women, really were trying to change their men.

If I’ve learnt anything, it’s that people rarely change dramatically, and if they do, it is because they want to, not because they have been forced to by someone else.  I used to always get annoyed when people would behave a certain way, that didn’t meet my expectations of how they should behave.  But when I thought about it, they were only doing what they would usually do – so why should I be surprised?

We let ourselves get annoyed by others, when they are only behaving in the way that they always have, we just don’t agree with it.  I am trying (and I stress trying, because there are times when I do get annoyed) not to let others get the better of me, accepting their actions as a reflection of who they are, and not get disappointed when they behave exactly as I though they would.  Have you ever said, ‘Well I’m not surprised they did that!’ or ‘Typical!’  So if we know this is what is going to happen, we can accept it and try to let it go.  We could use our energy when we get annoyed for something much more enjoyable.

We also moan because we don’t have the courage, or we don’t know how, to make the change that we need to change the negative.  I have met people from jobs that I have left, and years later, when I ask how its going, they are still moaning about the same issues that existed when I was there.  It’s not easy to make a bold decision, but if you never take a step forward, you will always be standing still – and getting older in the process.

The only way we can truly change our circumstances is by making a decision and sticking with it, however painful or difficult it may be to begin with.  The alternative is staying stuck, frustrated and probably depressed, waiting for something positive to happen to you.  Guess what – it won’t!

If you want to make a change, and change the negative, you either have to take action or you need to stop moaning about it.  Believe me, after a while everyone even the sympathisers are fed up of hearing about it.  However uncomfortable it feels to begin with, when you get to the other side, it will all be worth it.  Therefore the choice is yours, put up and shut up or get out – it’s up to you!

Leave a Reply